My plan is to do a little series and every week I explore one of the things that my SICKNESS depression is posing on me. Because it is a sickness, one that will stay all my life, but it's not ME. I am far more than that, but the depression really slows me down.
[UPDATE:] After some conversations my friends told me, that it is quite hard to react upon hearing of depression and the helplessness imposed on you. So I want to add a little information on how anyone could help ME. But of course feel free to try these things on others you know of too. But depressive people can get VERY lonely, because sometimes you have to ask thm to do sth. with you 3x times, and not many ask three times. And being inside the depression you don't want to get others down...
First topic: Getting out of bed.
This is the hardest thing in my life. If I don't HAVE TO get up, I'll lay around in bed for 1-2 hours, turning around always press snooze on the alarm clock. It freaks me out, but at the same time my bed is my favorite place in the world.So EVERY MORNING is a fight to start the day. Ever since I found the flylady my life has gotten better and better. I build routines that help me in most parts of my life. But getting up? Urgs.
[UPDATE] Is there a way to help?
Yes. Arrange to meet me in the mornings. Or contact me in the mornings. I do not want anyone to feel responsible for getting ME out of bed, so just every once in a while just ask how it's going and if you could help with that.And NEVER EVER underestimate a good old hug! A little longer than a normal hug and I think that you have said it all!
Whilst in my deepest depressive phase ever I was still living at home with my parents, my mother sat beside me and held my hand. After half an hour I would get up...
The other parts of this series
Part II: About my depression and the wave formation
Part III: Taking a shower
Part IV: Getting good at "failing"
The FlyLady seems like a site with many good tips. I'll have to browse through it one time...
ReplyDeleteOK, that was a lame joke :P
Bed is a good place for me too. I work a lot with my laptop, which works fine from my bed since wifi came around to stay.
I would think that motivation is a strong driving force for me, at least in the beginning of a project, so it probably is mixed with a dosis curiosity.
In day-to-day life, there's also other reasons that pull me out of bed, such as the need for getting the kids to school, meeting with my collegue, or coffee.
Does depression render reasons like that irrelevant for you (as in: they're still there, but just not important), or don't these things show up on the radar at all?
To be honest: I didn't even get the joke ;)
DeleteThe problem would be the motivation, because when depressive, you've got none!
People are quite important for me, because they are the ONLY reason I would get up! So if I would have kids (or a husband), I think that would get me out of my bed, definitly. And if I have a meeting with a friend, I would get up too. But those meetings usually happen in the afternoon, so it doesn't help too much in the mornings.
I love coffee, but that's no reason to get up! I could drink it at 12 or 3 pm as well ;)
hey :) im so sorry to hear that u have depression :( it is so hard to get through that . ive been depressed for 2 years now and sick leaved from work for about a year..and the worst part is the lack of understanding from all the people around u . as long as they cant see any wounds or scars its like its not there . but the inside is more difficult to fix then the outside . and the inside can effect u in so many ways with hairloss weightloss infection in the teethgum ectr and its just a bad sircle that seems to never end . but i tell u it will get better ... im still in the tunnel ... but i can see the light now and so will u ... just have faith in ure self ... faith that u will get over this . hug from me monika
ReplyDeleteThanks Monika! A big hug to you! I am in the light (luckily), so I reach out a hand to you! Great to hear that you have faith in yourself!
DeleteYes, only others who suffer from depression really get what's going on, so it's very hard on the people around you. They feel helpless and they often really are.. One has to get out there and the closest persons in your life can't catch it (all).
Klem, Lisa-Marie
Hey lisa-marie,
ReplyDeleteI'm close to depression, too, they tell me. But I hate to face it. When I think about it, I often find myself having the same problems as you... therefor i'm thankful that you write on it. If you need me - whatever it is - just tell me. Should be no problem :-)
Lisa-maria
Hej Lisa-Maria.
DeleteIt's ugly to face it and it's something noone wants. But for me life first got harder but now it's a lot better and I know who to control it.
One thing with depression on my part is, that I have a hard time to connect with people (I just can't seem to find the motivation and energy to call and meet people). It's nothing to do with you and please tell me if you have the same problem. If you don't: Please just go a step in my direction and ask me to do something with you! I would love to <3
Hey,
ReplyDeletedon't be sad for not staying in contact with me. I am the last person who couldn't understand. I even need time without my best friends because sometimes it's kinda exausting me. Everything is ok as long as you go on making your life lovely... I am trying, too. Thanks for the
Link to the flylady by the way ;-) i wish you all the best :-)
I wish you all the best as well!
DeleteThe flylady is awesome :)