Monday, January 20, 2014

I am actually going to Norway this year.

Dear friends, I am almost crying here. I am going to Norway this year (I didn't last year), and I guess I forgot how much I missed it. Now I am sitting here, just having booked the flight which will take me home in the beginning of february, and I want to go RIGHT NOW.

While Norway is not my actual birthland (that's Germany), I was born again in Norway in 2008, so it is kind of my second land of birth? I feel so close to Norway, it has taken my heart. I never missed Germany as much as I miss Norway. I had even once written a little "song" about that.
I feel closest to God in Norway. But I think that has something to do with the people around me. One person there once got the picture of a tree blooming even though the ground was dried out and cracked. That is me in Germany. It was even more true only some months ago, I had no christian friends, now I have a church I go to, where I have gotten to know and love some fellow christians. But it does not go as deep as what I experienced in Norway. So I am looking forward to hang out with God and it to be easier. I am not very good at reading the Bible and praying, but there I have people who are so full of passion and interest, that it's easy to be a part of it. And it feels so right, as if that's the way I am supposed to be.

I feel that this says kinda "not good" things about my friends here, but don't forget: I love you, I do not love any of my norwegian friends "better" just because they are christian and talking about it. It's not about that anyway. It just feels so natural to me, and every time I am in Norway my tank gets filled up and I take it with me to Germany. My spiritual language is norwegian as well. My Bible is norwegian and I am praying in norwegian.

But why do I feel like crying? It's not only happiness I think. I am quite the control-freak person, I like to work things out beforehand and know exactly what is going to happen. This time I am L.A.T.E... Usually I would have booked my flight in november or december (cheaper as well!), and beforehand check with the people I am going to stay at. This time my flatmate/best friend said beforehand, that she didn't even KNOW if she would be there AT ALL. Like, I could be staying there without her. That is such a weird thought, maybe that was why I put it off for such a long time. Usually I would come home, to MY home, and live there for my vacation, some days even in my old room. This time it wasn't even sure if I would be staying there at all.

I wrote this some days ago. By now things have quite resolved and my best friend is at home and I will be able to live in my old room for two weeks and one week I will stay at a school. If the house of another friend is done when I go there I will stay with her for about a weeks time. We will see how it turns out.

I decided that it was partly my travel nerves which made me feel like crying. Now that I accepted that, I still feel a little queasy inside, but my head is able to relax more.

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