Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I suffer from depression Part Vb: Current Situation Update

So, after last weeks depression post I got some worried friends thinking I was in a really bad state. I was quite surprised, because I felt I was optimistic and positiv. But after reading my post again I totally get it: I said I was the worst I know, and that's what it's like. So I am bad, BUT at the same time, I said, that I was better than ever. I get, that we tend to focus on the bad part of things. And actually today I am in a bad mood, not feeling up to anything.
BUT I have a friend who is drawing comics and I asked her to illustrate how I'm feeling at the moment, and how you can see at it as better than before. That was last week. Today we did the final touches and even though I don't want to do a thing, I am working on this, because she gave me some outer motivation.

So here's her work:

So even though I feel really bad, I am better off than anytime before, because I have opened up and let friends come into my life. Before I was always like: I don't want to share this with anyone, because I don't want to drag anyone down with me. So I didn't share with others. And I never cared a lot about others stories. I changed. The hole is still there. I will work this out with my therapist. Actually, I have never before been this honest with her.

I am letting this depression series come to an end right here. It actually drags ME down to write about it. In the future I will focus more on the good things I experience. If something comes up: alright, but I don't want to get myself in this state by thinking about it. I need to focus on the good things.

Thanks for listening... I send loads of love out to you!
And thanks again to Chris for the drawing!

1 comment:

  1. The drawing helps so much to understand how you feel.
    The hole is always there somewhere, sometimes close sometimes far.
    And the hole also shows that the feeling of depression is not you. You can get out, just depends on how deep you fell and how you let others look down into the hole to see you.
    Art can explain better than words. And gives me a lot of thoughts ;)
    Love to you!